I hope you read this

This is for you but I’m showing it to everyone, I won’t tell who ‘you’ is, you will know by reading it.

I still remember the first time we met, how you smiled at me and talked to me with your beautiful voice. You introduced yourself with your nickname and I was like “What kind of nickname is that?” I laughed hearing it, then you said if I forget what your nickname is I could ask your friends who is also a friend of mine.  But how could I forget you? You are a person I could never forget in my life. I will always remember that day. I wish I could change the past so that you and I could be together. Why we are not together now I think it’s because God is saving it for the future I hope. You are the biggest hope I ever have in my life. I have never been this attached to a women, but I’m also not obsessive for you. I want you to be happy with your choices and if you were happy to drift away from me then I’ll take it. You remember how I said you are the sun of my life, how I said that this heart can’t wait anymore to see you again? One day I will finish that song and I want you to be the first to hear it.

                What is so special about you? If I say you’re beautiful there are many women more beautiful, if I say you’re cute there are many women cuter, I don’t look at you upon how you look, but how you are. I love the way you talk and your personality is the perfect one for me. We have so many things in common, still remember how I said we were fated together because of that? That wasn’t a joke, I really wish you are my fate and your fate is mine. Allah knows who our mate is and again I hope you are mine. If there is a next time, I will love you because of Allah. Not like how I loved you before. I don’t want to hold your hand, I don’t want to give you hugs when you need them, I don’t want to be the one to wipe your tears, but I want to be the one to protect you safe from sins until I am the one allowed to do all the things that we can’t do now.

Since we drifted apart I chose to stay away from you, so that I don’t get the same feeling that I had before for you now because I don’t want to think about you when you are with someone else. But now it’s different. We can still be friends like how I was hoping, but you disappear too easy. I don’t know why you do that, but really let’s just be friends now. Be best friend’s maybe? Talk about all the stories we each had? I just want you to know, I won’t get the same feeling for you until the time is right. So I hope we can get close again like before I told you I like you. Was it selfish for me to say that I liked you? I’m sorry I couldn’t keep the promise we made. I’m sorry for everything.

I really miss you, I really miss us. I miss your smile, your laugh, your everything! I am writing this as a promise to myself that next time if there is a next time I will love you because of Allah. I just want to give you the white flower to you. From this end, it’s an official goodbye. I won’t love you again if not because of Allah.